I went there

Last cycle I went there.

I entertained thoughts that I really, really might be pregnant.

Normally I don't do this.  I realized whenever I'd enter into this quasi daydream of, "Oh, this could be the month!  Maybe this breast tenderness means there's a baby growing!" I found that it really didn't help my sanity and often made things worse, especially when CD1 inevitably came.  The anxiety it caused plus the mind games when I would get to peak+13/14/15 were enough to make me go crazy.  ("Am I pregnant?  No, I can't be.  Oh, but AF hasn't arrived so it's possible..."  Ad nauseam.  Pun intended.  haha)

I've posted this picture before...

Believe me, I know how tempting it is to analyze every little post-peak symptom and google them until I assume that I have to be pregnant because there is no other explanation.  But I decided a long time ago I would stop paying attention to post-peak symptoms—especially breast tenderness because I have that practically every cycle—unless I reach peak+17 because I just don't need all that drama.  I think it's saved a lot of mental anguish.  :)  In that respect, I daresay my usual 2WW is almost peaceful.  (Almost.)  ;)

So, why, you may ask, did I have myself practically convinced that I was pregnant last cycle?

This:

Peak+8 is most definitely the wrong time to have the stomach flu (gastroenteritis).  It started at 3 a.m. with nausea, vomiting, and diarrhea.  Repeat several hours later.  Then I was back to normal.  I honestly can't remember the last time I had any of those three symptoms.  You just can't ignore nausea and vomiting.

According to Dr. Google, diarrhea is actually a more common pregnancy symptom about eight days after ovulation (my estimate) than vomiting.  Did you know that?  I didn't.  Since I had eaten 95% of the same food as DH the two days prior to getting sick, it surely couldn't be the stomach flu.  And what kind of stomach flu lasts for five hours total?  When DH had the stomach flu a few months ago (probably from unwashed spinach), it lasted a solid 36 hours.

Dr. Google also told me about some women who had just a single day of morning sickness and nothing more.  I was drawn into the illusion of pregnancy hook, line, and sinker.  I started thinking of my favorite baby names and how I would tell DH.  There were a few more strange symptoms in the days after the stomach flu incident that I've never had before during the post-peak phase.  All of this really had me convinced.  A 15-day post-peak phase plus just a tiny bit of spotting in the morning on CD1 (and nothing the rest of the day) wasn't much help in the let's-bring-polkadot-back-to-reality department either.

When AF did arrive in full force on CD2, my little dream world came crashing down.  I didn't take her arrival well at all:  tears, more tears, a little anger, a one-sided dialogue of "but God, I thought I was pregnant..." and even more tears.

Dear body, please don't do that again post-peak unless it's the real deal.  None of this imitation stuff that just messes with my head.  :P

Hopefully this cycle I'll be able to go back to happily ignoring any and all symptoms during the 2WW...  :)