IF articles

Here are some articles or blog posts about infertility that I've found helpful.

The Gift of Infertility, Part 4 by Dr. Jameson and Jennifer Taylor

"...Part of the pain of infertility, however, is that it is an invisible sign. In our culture, most people assume that if you don't have kids you're contracepting. If you're infertile, they suppose you can easily correct the problem through artificial means. The physical and spiritual suffering caused by infertility is usually hidden. To use an analogy, the generosity of the couple who chooses to have a large family is like a brightly burning sun whose beams produce beautiful flowers that everyone can see and admire. While their love might shine just as brightly, the infertile family has no flowers of its own. Yet, as Fulton Sheen perceives: 'There is no sign unless something happens contrary to nature. The brightness of the sun is no sign, but an eclipse is.'"

Embracing the Cross of Infertility by Dr. Marie Meaney
Available as a podcast or transcript.

"Suffering from infertility myself since my marriage in 2000 and having talked to many women with the same problem, I have not only come to see what is common to the experience of infertility, but also what the typically wrong approaches of dealing with it are. It is a terrible suffering, but it can be made it worse by adopting false solutions. Thus I will first address the attitudes and choices that the woman should avoid, however tempting they may be. Afterwards I will speak about how friends, family and acquaintances can help the infertile couple which means first and foremost to avoid making matters worse by saying the wrong thing at the wrong time. There are some simple and helpful principles which I will outline. Thirdly I will look at the current “cultural” temptations of finding an “easy-fix” by using in vitro fertilization or artificial insemination. These methods turn the baby into a product rather than being the fruit of its parents’ love. I will then end on a more positive note by looking at ways in which the woman can deal positively with her infertility and how it can ultimately become a spiritual journey of growth and healing."

Waiting for Gabriel: Learning to Pray through Infertility by Dr. Timothy P. O'Malley

"For, it turns out we weren’t married that we could experience the joy of having children.  We were married that our lives might become an offering of love for the world.   To our nieces.  To our nephews.  To our friends.   To a child, yet to be born, but who we hope to one day welcome.  To a child, who has suffered more from neglect, whether accidental or purposeful, than we do from the absence of a child.  Our infertility isn’t about us.  It’s about what how God can transform even our sorrow into joy; how even in the shadow of this very real cross, the light shines in the darkness and the darkness will not overcome it."

IVF, Suffering, and God's Will by Brendan Dudley

"Spouses who embrace the suffering that comes from infertility are imitating Christ’s obedience to the will of God and trust in His plan throughout every hardship. Even when the thing one desires is a great good, like the desire for a child, Christ shows us that true love requires the acceptance of suffering and the humbling of oneself to the will of God."

How God makes beauty from barrenness by Colleen Carroll Campbell
It's an excerpt from her book My Sisters the Saints: A Spiritual Memoir.

"...And the realization hit me with sudden force: Not one of them [St. Teresa of Ávila, St. Thérèse of Lisieux, St. Teresa Benedicta of the Cross (Edith Stein)] had borne biological children. Not one had been a mother in the conventional sense, the sense that I once thought I had to be a mother in order to “count” in the church and the world. Yet there they were, radiantly holy and beloved by countless spiritual children throughout the world, including me. Each had fulfilled, in her own way, what Edith described as the highest call of every mother: to nurture the spark of divine life in another’s soul."

Finding fruitfulness in infertility by Terri Vyner

"There are several theological truths which may help couples of faith who are experiencing infertility come to a deeper understanding of their vocation.  The first is to see life as a gift.  Secondly, this time of waiting need not be seen as meaningless.  Thirdly, these couples have something irreplaceable to offer to the Church and society, a fruitfulness in Christ."

Overcoming Obstacles:  Infertility by Jeannie Hannemann (Director of Elizabeth Ministry International)

"Coping with the uncertainties of infertility, the roller coaster of emotions, the multitude of medical decisions and moral concerns is challenging even for the strongest marriages."