A year since surgery

The end of last cycle was stressful! AF was nearly two days "late," and I was *this close* (picture my fingers here) to P+17 and taking a (blood) pregnancy test. Normally AF shows up on schedule and starts while I'm sleeping or first thing in the morning when I get up, so there's no time to be anxious or hopeful. This time AF waited until bedtime on P+16. Not cool, AF. Not cool. Rather cruel, if you ask me. Surviving those last days before AF comes has got to shorten time in purgatory, right? hahaha Okay, perhaps not since I could have practiced the virtue of patience, and then maybe I wouldn't have felt like I was being tortured with the suspense and waiting. ;)

This is our first cycle with Clomid. I didn't notice any side effects except maybe some blurry vision for a day or two. It could have been completely unrelated though. Since Clomid has anti-estrogen properties, it can dry up cervical mucus which is important for TTC. The nurse told me to take 1200mg of Mucinex (guaifenesin only) twice a day from day 12 to P+2 to improve my mucus while on Clomid. I'm also taking sustained-release B6 for the same purpose. I had some really great mucus the day before I started the Mucinex—actually the best mucus I've seen in a year—so I thought maybe the Clomid wasn't going to affect my mucus at all. Unfortunately, the days following that were pretty pathetic mucus-wise. So...yeah, my mucus definitely took a beating this cycle.

Normally I get excited about new treatments. I was even reading in the big NaPro textbook and came to the conclusion that Clomid was a very reasonable choice for my case. But I don't feel as hopeful this cycle as I have during past cycles on a new med. I think a lot has to do with the fact that the TEBB is still front and center on my chart; I had seven days of it this cycle. I don't know how long it takes for the Cortef to work if it's going to affect the TEBB. Maybe it takes longer than three weeks to work? Here's hoping that is the case.

It also could be that I'm getting more discouraged in general about our chances of conceiving. It's been over a year now since my laparoscopy. I honestly never thought I'd still not be pregnant a year after surgery. Yet, here I am. I know with NaPro they look at your time TTC in terms of "effective cycles" (normal-looking cycles following surgery) but with all my TEBB I'm not sure I have technically had any effective cycles. I'm probably still in treatment adjustment phase. I suppose that means I should be more hopeful than I am, but it's hard because so much time has passed, and we're still trying to figure out how to fix my body. I've been offering up all the frustrations and disappointment for my prayer buddy.

The other slightly discouraging thing is that my P+7 estrogen from last cycle was low. It was 9, and it should be >12. And that was while taking HCG. Yikes. It has never been that low before. Come on, body-of-mine, I really don't need any new problems here! I guess that's something the Clomid could improve though.

I know there are limits as to how long you can take Clomid, so I hope I'm not wasting Clomid cycles while I still have TEBB. I suppose I have heard of people conceiving while having TEBB (feel free to share those kind of stories with me in the comments...haha), but I'm not sure it's the norm. Everything I learned during FCP training was that TEBB is abnormal and has to be eliminated.

Sometimes I think it would just be easier to exchange my uterus for another one than to fix what's wrong with the one I've got.  ;)

If only my uterus (and whole reproductive system) were as happy and cooperative as this one looks:

I bet this ovary works fine on it's own and doesn't need Clomid.

Source

(I'm not sure who buys plush organs—maybe anatomy teachers or doctors' offices—but they sure are cute.)