Below are my two favorite movies that address infertility in at least one scene. If I had to give an honorable mention award, it would be to "What to Expect When You're Expecting." I know, I know. It's not the typical movie an IFer would watch. I think I was having a good day and was in a stable part of my cycle so I thought I could handle watching it. One of the couples in the movie is infertile and is going through the adoption process; I thought the portrayal of that couple was quite good. The rest of the movie is cute. :)
There are other movies that touch on infertility that I haven't seen. I have seen the trailer and clips from a few scenes of the movie "The Odd Life of Timothy Green" which features an IF couple told by a doctor nothing can be done medically to help them conceive. Just the trailer and clips made me cry, so it's quite possible I would be a sobbing mess if I watched the whole movie. Maybe someday. On a good day. ;)
SPOILER ALERT: If you want to watch these movies without reading about the IF scenes first or what happens to the IF couple, then skip most of this post. I'll list the movie titles right now and talk in more detail later in the post.
Movies:
- Up
- Julie & Julia
**********************BEGIN SPOILER ALERT**********************
Up
The first time I watched this movie I was hanging out with two single girlfriends of mine. We were sitting in the living room with the lights dimmed but still on. It was in the first year of IF for me. I did not know what the movie was about except that there was a flying house carried by balloons (on the cover of the DVD). I was definitely not prepared for the opening sequence. The movie starts off innocently following a boy and girl growing up and eventually marrying. They are shown painting the walls of a nursery. You presume they are pregnant or planning to be pregnant soon.
Then this very brief scene appears:
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| (screenshot from the movie) |
Julie & Julia
Both DH and I enjoy this movie. I just watched it for the tenth or so time last weekend. It's the story of two women told simultaneously even though they lived decades apart. Julia Child (the famous cook) is living in France in the late 1940s (married at age 34), and Julie Powell is a 30-year-old wife in modern day NYC who decides to make all of the recipes in Julia Child's cookbook in a year. She starts a blog to document her progress. Both ladies are childless due to IF, but IF is not mentioned in Julie's story at all. (The Julie in real life had PCOS.) There are two scenes in Julia's life which allude to IF without coming out and saying, "We can't have children."
The pictures below are all screenshots of the movie itself.
Scene 1: A walk in the park
Julia and her husband Paul are walking through a park in Paris and enjoying the day. They pass a baby carriage, and Julia turns to look at the baby as it nears. Paul notices that Julia looked at the baby carriage, and when she turns back around to continue walking, Paul kisses her hand and smiles at her. It's so simple and subtle, but I'm sure anyone with IF would recognize how supportive Paul is being and how much it must sting for Julia to see a baby. I wonder if non-IFers would think much of the scene at all.
Scene 2: In the kitchen reading a letter from Julia's sister Dorothy
Julia: Dorothy is pregnant.
Julia: Oh, Paul.
Julia: Isn't that wonderful?
Paul: Yes.
Julia: I'm so happy.
Julia receives a letter from her newly-married sister Dorothy, who is around 33 years old, with the news that Dorothy is pregnant. Julia's reaction is so true to life. She starts crying but says she is happy for her sister. (I cried with her the first time I saw this scene.) Joy and sadness all rolled into one...that's just how pregnancy announcements are (usually) for me.
What are your favorite movies that touch on infertility?
I loved Up when I first saw it (pre-IF) and love it even more now that I can connect more with the story. Really well done!
ReplyDeleteI also watched Julie & Julia pre-IF, but haven't watched it again since. Those scenes you show here definitely don't stand out in my mind so I guess your thought is accurate -- I didn't really connect emotionally to the IF scenes, especially Julia checking out the baby in the carriage.
You should definitely watch The Odd Life of Timothy Green! My husband and I watched it recently and really enjoyed it. Jennifer Garner does a great job depicting an IF woman. Actually, she did a great job in a similar role in Juno. If you ever watch it, I'd be curious to know what you think! You'd probably tear up a bit in the first 20 min or so, but after that, there's not much cry-inducing stuff. You can do it!
Though the couple depicted does try IVF, my favorite movie dealing with IF (actually dealing with marriage over all) is Forget Paris. Billy Crystal plays an NBA ref who goes to Paris to bury his father, only the airline loses his father's body. Eventually his father's body is found, and he meets Ell (Debra Winger). The movie follows them from first meeting through marriage, her father moving in with them, and their inability to have children. It also shows the toll that each of these takes on their marriage. The reason that I love the movie so well is its ultimate message that they are better together than they are apart, even if they don't know quite how to make it work.
ReplyDeleteI loved both of these movies. When Julie and Julia came out I cried during each of the scenes you depicted. Up was just so cute and how bonded they were as a couple despite their IF they had each other. It's hard to pick a movie that deals w/ an IF couple because most of them portray them that they eventually have children in the end somehow.
ReplyDeleteWhen I first saw Up, I was not TTC yet and was not even thinking much about babies. I saw it with my nephew and sister, and I remember sobbing into a napkin in the theater and feeling so unsettled by that scene. When I left that movie, I was angry and sad, and for days I just felt depressed. I've never watched it again. It's strange that long before I knew I'd be living out that scene myself, I was struck by the intensity and sadness of it. But, they obviously did a good job of portraying IF for me to feel so strongly about that scene without being able to relate to it at that time.
ReplyDeleteI have never seen either of these movies, but now I'm super curious. Thanks for the good reviews, I might have to try both of them if/when I'm ready for a good cry! Although they sound like they do a great job of portraying life as it really is, which is definitely tricky.
ReplyDeleteOh. My. Gosh. I've seen both of these movies, and I really liked both of them, yet I don't remember IF being a part of either plot. This is because, I'm positive, that when I saw the movies, we didn't know we would experience IF. For me, it's a super humbling moment that IF really isn't on anyone's radar until it's experienced personally. I've had a sister that's miscarried, and I still didn't have it on my radar. Thank you so much for writing this post.
ReplyDeleteMust. Blog. About this.
I just finished my blog post about this. Thank you so much for playing a critical roll in this new understanding I have.
DeleteI actually found your post FIRST and didn't realize it came from this one until just now! :)
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ReplyDeleteI still remember watching Julie & Julia for the first time. I went with a good friend who was 9 months pregnant at the time...
ReplyDeleteAnd I remember showing it to my DH when we were dating and how I was gripped by that scene. I quickly thought of my own sister who has shared multiple pregnancy announcements. We both remember me pondering out loud about how horrible it would to experience that between sisters and how heavy a heart you'd have if you were the 'Julia sister'.
And here I sit after a year and a half of fertility struggles. The Julia sister.
I do have to say that I fell completely in love with Stanley Tucci's character in this film. And I remember my own DH hugging me tight through this scene and kissing my hand.
The scene from Up has elicited many, many tears. I've wanted to write about it forever. Maybe I will...
Thank you for writing this.