Dreams, meds, and Murphy's Law

This post is rather random.  You've been warned.  :)

1.  The only typical side effect with naltrexone, according to a PPVI nurse, is vivid dreams.  I experienced that a couple times when I first started LDN, but haven't noticed it since then even though my dose is much higher.  But this week, I had two very vivid dreams related to IF back to back.  In the first, DH and I adopted a baby girl.  We picked her up from an airport parking lot at night.  It was a very strange scenario, but I woke up and thought it was true for a moment.  It felt very real.  In the second, I was having an ultrasound during my post-peak phase and learned I was pregnant.  I was so excited by the news.  When I woke up, it felt as if I had truly had the ultrasound the day before.  Granted I was groggy from sleep, but it took a lot of mental effort to figure out (convince myself?) that I did not have an ultrasound and was not pregnant.  In the dream I was several days further along in my cycle than I am in real life so it really was not possible.  IF must be really getting to me if the new theme for my dreams is babies.

2.  DH and I started a second round of antibiotics—Zithromax.  It's in the same family of antibiotics as Biaxin, so I am optimistic that it might help.  Given the side effects I had from the last round of antibiotics, I was a little nervous about this one.  The package insert was comforting: “This drug is usually well tolerated.  Less than 1% of patients discontinued therapy due to side effects.  The most common side effects are diarrhea (5%), nausea (3%), and abdominal pain (3%).”  I was not happy to see that nausea was on the list though.  I told DH I'd take diarrhea over nausea.  He looked at me like I was crazy.  Since he couldn't remember the last time he was nauseous, I told him he must have forgotten how it felt because surely no one would pick nausea over diarrhea. ;)

At dinnertime on day 2 of the Zithromax, I started feeling mildly nauseous—just like how it started with the Flagyl on day 2.  I had flashbacks to last month.  I didn't think I could take three weeks of it again.  It's one thing to endure nausea and vomiting during pregnancy knowing that there will be a baby at the end of it, but to have to endure in order that you might possibly get pregnant (no guarantees, of course) is really tough.  I figured I would wait and see what happened the next day.  Fortunately, there has been no nausea since that night.  Thank you, God!

3.  I am a little extra hopeful this cycle.  I have no reason to think the Biaxin did any good because my TEBB lasted as long as usual (5 days).  But—perhaps irrationally—I am secretly hoping that maybe the drug did reduce inflammation enough in my uterus to allow implantation.  And I've been at my current dose of T3 for almost a month, so this is the first full cycle where it might have an effect...  I can make up scenarios all day long hoping this month will be the month, but that doesn't change reality.  I know that.  Please don't lock me up for insanity just yet.  :)  Plus it's Prayer Buddy time, and we all know how pregnancy rates among IFers increase dramatically during this time...  To me, new treatment + extra prayers = more hope. :)  (No pressure, Prayer Buddy.  haha)

The other reason for more hope this cycle is that I noticed breast tenderness for the first time in a long time, and it hasn't gone away yet. So my hope isn't completely irrational. ;)

4.  After ordering meds from Kubat's regularly for a while now, I've decided there is some version of Murphy's Law that applies.  It would go something like this:

If you need your refill in W days (e.g., W = 4 days), it will be delivered in X days, where X>W (e.g., X = 6 days).

If you don't need your refill for Y days (where 7 < Y < 14), it will be delivered in Z days, where Z << Y. (Z = 3 days to be exact)

Note: << means "much less than" here.

In other words, if you plan ahead, you'll get your refill quickly, and when you don't call until 4 days before you run out, you won't get the meds in time, even though 95% of the time you receive your meds in 3 days.

5.  I will be glad to be able to get my naltrexone locally instead of from Kubat's as soon as I'm up to 50 mg, which hopefully happens tomorrow when the nurse returns my call.  The PPVI protocol for increasing naltrexone has had me calling PPVI when I have 4-5 days of pills remaining to report how I'm feeling.  It takes a day for the nurse to return my call, meaning Kubat's gets the order for the increased dose when I have 3-4 days of pills left.  (I asked a nurse if I could call earlier than 5 days, and she said, "No, we have to follow the protocol."  I said in my experience, Kubat's sometimes needs more than 4 days...  She said 4 days is plenty.  Isn't it ironic that my meds didn't arrive in 4 days after that conversation?)  This stresses me out a little, so I just wanted to give you a heads up in case this would ever apply to you.  If you have the choice, give Kubat's a week to be on the safe side. :)

6.  DH and I are trying to focus on Advent even though everywhere we go is Christmas, Christmas, Christmas.  The only decorations we have up are the stockings and the Advent wreath.  We won't be putting anything else up including the tree until December 17th, the start of the O Antiphons and the "final" countdown to Christmas.  A dear priest friend of ours suggested this idea to us before we were married.  He reminded us that Catholics celebrate on a feast day and afterwards, not before.  I need that reminder to help prepare for Christmas.  It's been really nice to do our evening prayers with the Advent wreath lit.

7.  Tomorrow is St. Nick's Day.  I hung our stockings, and DH set out his shoes.  (He grew up with the shoe tradition, and I grew up with stockings, so we're trying to merge them.)  He asked me if I minded if he opened his presents in the morning while I was still sleeping.  He gets up much earlier than me and didn't want to wait until he gets home in the evening, even though this is how we've done it every year.  I said I wanted to open them together, so if he can get me out of bed at the crack of dawn, we can open them together.  Getting me out of bed might be a challenge.  I think he might resort to carrying me to the living room if I'm uncooperative.  He is really excited about the presents.  It's sweet. ;)