I just can't take it anymore

(Don't worry.  I'm fine.  You'll see where the post title comes in shortly.)

I've been having a rough week, feeling more discouraged than usual about our chances of conceiving.  It hasn't been sadness or depression, more like feeling out of sorts.  It probably didn't help that in the past couple weeks there have been two pregnancy announcements and a birth among my fertile acquaintances IRL.

Then one evening I glanced at the pile of mail DH had opened.  On top was a book.  This book:

It was sent out as a mass mailing.  I stared at the book and smiled.  God knew that I needed this book so much right now.  The timing seriously could not have been more perfect.  There was a letter included with the book, and this sentence stood out to me:

"But no matter how well we transform life's challenges into grace-filled moments, the fact remains that there is no escaping pain and suffering in this life."

I've been thinking about that a lot lately—that no matter how much we offer up our suffering, especially IF-related suffering, for others carrying the same cross or for an end to abortion or for any intention, and no matter how much we reflect on how much God loves us or the spiritual lessons we have learned from IF that can help us grow in holiness, the pain is still there.  So we all need encouragement from time to time, and this book definitely provided some for me.

Each page of the book has one sentence and a cute or funny photograph.  (Almost half of the pictures are babies, but I tried not to let that distract me from the words.)

Here are some excerpts:

"Sometimes I just don't understand life.  I've heard that God only gives you what you can handle.  But if that's true, He must have me confused with somebody else. . .because I JUST CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!

. . .

I wonder...  Is God trying to test me?  Because if He is, it would be nice if He could make the tests a little bit easier.  

Is he trying to cure me of some problem I have?  Because if He is, I wish the medicine He's giving me wasn't so hard to swallow.

Is it that we're all connected somehow and God wants to use my pain to help others who are hurting?  Because right now I could sure use some TLC myself!

. . .

But then again, maybe God has something else is mind.  Maybe there's a bigger plan I can't see.

. . .

In fact, I seem to remember that God went through some pretty tough times too—maybe even worse than mine.  But somehow, some way, He was able to come through everything okay and transform even the most terrible suffering into the happiest ending.  If He can do THAT, then maybe He's got something special planned for me too.

. . .

So I guess the best thing for me to do is try not to despair...or be too grumpy...or get too worried about things I can't change. . .

. . .[and] try to find a couple of good friends** to confide in and maybe even lend a hand (because no one can bear the burden of life's troubles alone), and have a little faith that the One who made the universe and set the stars and planets in motion can help me figure a way to get through all my problems—no matter how overwhelming they may seem now.

If only I put my trust in Him..."

I know the language is simple, and I've heard all the sentiments before, but sometimes I think I need to be told the simple truths over and over again.  Maybe after enough repetitions it will actually sink in.  :)


**or many friends in the IF blogland :)