I didn't marry your uterus and other quotes

Here are some funny or cute things DH has said...


This was CD2 and it also was the day after taking naltrexone for first time in a week and a half.

DH:  You're in a good mood today.  You're maybe a little loopy even.
Me:  I took my naltrexone last night.  Oh, it also could be that my blog readers are praying for me extra.  I wrote on my blog yesterday that I was sad.
DH:  You should tell them to calm down their prayers.

While planning for a weekend trip involving a drive of several hours...

DH:  Don't forget to pack your naltrexone.  If you forget, I will send you home to get it.  By yourself.

Me:  I'm sorry I can't give you a child.
DH:  I did not marry your uterus.  I married you.

Talking about DH's sister-in-law who recently had a baby...

DH:  I wouldn't be surprised if she's pregnant again soon.  She's younger than you.  You know, these are her most fertile years.
Me: (pouts and hangs head in sadness)
DH:  That's okay.  Your fertile years are coming.
Me:  (raised eyebrows)
DH:  It's okay.  I'm going to be an old dad.  Abraham was an old dad.

DH is going to the grocery store...

DH:  Do want anything?  And don't say babies because I can't buy you babies.

After picking up an expensive antibiotic...

DH:  $100?!?  That's gold-coated medicine.
Me:  Really.  So there's gold on there?
DH:  No.  It's probably platinum.

The moment of truth

DH and I are just finishing up a three-week course of antibiotics to treat the infection found on the semen culture.  We started them on peak day last cycle.  We would have started them earlier in the cycle but there was some mix up at the pharmacy that delayed things.  I was bummed that we wouldn't be able to take advantage of the mucus-enhancing side effects of ampicillin.  My mucus is usually pretty good, but more of the good stuff wouldn't hurt.  ;)

Once AF arrived, I started to get a bit nervous.  Would there be TEBB?  Waiting for AF to taper off was like the final days of a 2WW where there is some chance of pregnancy.  I just wanted to fast forward a few days to find out what would happen.  During the heavy and moderate days, I tried to observe if the color of the bleeding was different in any way, which might give me a clue as to whether the antibiotic had successfully eliminated my TEBB.  Nothing was different as far as I could tell.  I tried to be patient.

First day of light bleeding--no brown.  That's typical for me.  I sometimes have two days of light or very light before the brown starts.

Second day of light bleeding--no brown.  No need to get excited yet.  This is still normal for me.

Third day.  Now it's very light, and the color is bright red.  Every time I went to the bathroom, this was me:

Is there brown?   (source)

What?  No brown??   (source)

Surely this was a fluke and the brown was coming.

Fourth day.  Pinkish red.  No sign of brown.  Now every bathroom trip looked like this:

Still no brown!!!  (source)

Now it seems like AF is done except for some pink. This is me now:

There was no TEBB!!!  (source)

The one other cycle where I didn't have any TEBB was right after the IV antibiotics over a year ago.  That happiness lasted all of one cycle because DH wasn't treated simultaneously and the TEBB came back the next cycle.  (I also suspect that my endo had already returned at that point.)

But this time DH has been treated too.  And I am free of endo.

You know what this means?

This might be our first real chance of conceiving.  Ever.  This is the first time all of my known issues have been fixed or treated at the same time.  We've been TTC for more than four years.

We're going to try to make the most of this time.  Since my uterus had a lot of inflammation at the time of my surgery in February, I'm doing what I can to try to decrease inflammation in case it was not caused by the infection (but I'm hoping that it WAS caused by the infection...).  I'm not eating sugar in any form (or any substitutes like honey) along with the rest of an anti-inflammatory diet that I've been doing for a long time.  A couple ladies have told me about a possible (anecdotal) link between TEBB and tampons, so I haven't used tampons since my surgery.

I don't know how long the TEBB will stay away.   I doubt it will be permanent.  At the NaPro conference a few weeks ago, Dr. H said that even when both spouses are treated, the infection usually comes back eventually.

But for now, we begin counting effective cycles; essentially our TTC clock has been reset to zero.  An effective cycle is one that looks normal (and presumes or knows ovulation occurred), has a good mucus cycle, has normal P+7 estrogen and progesterone levels, and has all known medical issues addressed (including appropriate management of stress).  There also should be more than one act of intercourse during the fertile time.  NaPro usually recommends TTC for 12-18 effective cycles.

This is cycle 1.  I think I might be ovulating early this month because I've had some decent looking mucus during these last few days of spotting.

St. Jude, pray for us.

Find a NaPro surgeon

Since the FertilityCare website does not yet have a separate list of the ob/gyn graduates of the year-long NaPro surgery fellowship with Dr. Hilgers, I have been keeping track of them for my clients who want to pursue surgery.  I created a map with their locations.



View NaPro surgeons in a larger map

If you click on each marker, I listed the name(s) of the surgeons, their current address, and website.  For some of the websites, you'll have to search for the physician by name.

Twelve ob/gyns have completed the fellowship.  One worked with Dr. H for a year before there was a fellowship.  Three more will be trained in the next year, including Dr. H's own son!

Note #1:  I added another ob/gyn surgeon to the map (the yellow marker).  He did not complete the year-long fellowship.  However, he did do a rotation with Dr. H and has co-authored a paper with him, so he is very aware of Dr. H's techniques.  He completed a fellowship at the Center for Endometriosis Care in Atlanta, so his training is excellent.  He is a medical consultant (trained in medical NaPro).  I would recommend him as highly as any of the other surgeons listed.  He gave a presentation at the 2012 FertilityCare annual meeting about his surgical techniques and research.

Note #2:  Dr. Stegman had been trained in NaPro surgical techniques and practiced in Camp Hill, PA.  Before he retired, Dr. Stegman trained another surgeon (the red marker) to take over for him.  That surgeon now practices in Louisiana.

This map does not include the many medical consultants who were trained in medical NaPro, a six-month program involving two separate weeks in Omaha (usually).

I will try to keep this map up to date.

IF memes

The first in a series!  Here's the post-peak edition.

 

Treating endo pain without surgery and other NaPro updates

As I get ready to head to this year's Creighton Model and NaProTechnology conference, I was looking through my notes from last year's meeting.  I learned a lot of fascinating information and wanted to share it here before my brain is filled up with all kinds of new stuff from this year. 

1.  There is a possibility that charting CrMS and getting treatment from NaPro can be helpful in early detection of breast cancer.  This is a huge project for the future to understand this better, but Dr. H has done some preliminary work.  He found that infertile women with low progesterone were 5.4 times more likely to have breast cancer than infertile women whose infertility was due to non-hormonal causes.  In his study, breast cancer patients had statistically significant lower progesterone levels starting on P+5.  Their estradiol levels were normal.  Breast cancer patients also had statistically significant lower mucus cycle scores and higher variability in the length of their post-peak phase (about 5 days variation vs. 2 days variation for non-breast cancer patients).  A mucus cycle score is a way to numerically rate the quality of mucus in a given cycle; a higher score is better.

2.  Only 9% of cycles have ovulation occur on day 14.  Ovulation occurs slightly more often on day 15 or day 17 (11% of cycles).

3.  If you or anyone you know has been on progesterone support during pregnancy in an attempt to prevent miscarriage, you might know that most non-NaPro physicians think it's unnecessary, silly, etc., especially after the first trimester when the placenta is supposed to take over production.  Dr. H swears by it though and has a standardized progesterone curve that he uses to determine how good or bad a pregnant woman's progesterone levels are given how many weeks gestation she is, which guides the dosing of progesterone.  Previously there had been no study showing that progesterone was beneficial, especially after the first trimester.  Dr. H didn't think it was ethical to do such a study because half of the pregnant women would have received a placebo (no progesterone), and he didn't want to risk them losing their babies in order to publish a study to satisfy the skeptics demanding, "We want to see the evidence."  (evidence is good, of course, but at what cost?)  Now there is really good news: This study--a double-blind, randomized controlled trial (the best type of study)--is underway!   Well, it was underway as of last summer.  How is this possible, you ask?  What about the poor women at risk for miscarriage who get the placebo?

This is probably the only situation that I can think of which made it ethical to do the study:  A NaPro physician (Dr. V) in another country was following Dr. H's progesterone protocols on his pregnant patients.  Dr. V's boss found out and demanded that he show the boss the study supporting this practice or else stop prescribing progesterone to all pregnant women.  Dr. V was in a bind.  He also believed the progesterone was doing some good, and he could not bear the thought of withholding progesterone from his patients, especially the ones with a history of miscarriage.  So he said to his boss, "How about I conduct the study to come up with the evidence that progesterone is beneficial?"  His boss agreed.  Dr. V figured that this way half of his patients would get progesterone, which was much better than none of his patients.  He later got approval to do the study.

This is huge.  Huge.  I hope they'll give us an update at this year's conference how the study is going.

4.  Random fact of the day:  Endometriosis has been found in men.  In women, it has been found outside the pelvis--in the brain, eye, and lung--so the theory that endo is caused by backward flow of menstrual blood through the fallopian tubes doesn't explain everything.

5.  An audience member asked one of the physician presenters, "What anti-inflammatory diet should we recommend?"  The presenter said, "I would defer to the bloggers on the answer."  Love it!!  Probably 98% of the room had no clue what he was talking about, but I had a giant grin on my face.  How would this physician know about the IF blogs?  He's married to a blogger.  :)  The audience member waited for him to elaborate.  He then said the diet would include:  no gluten, dairy, sugar, caffeine, alcohol, or red meat.  It would also include supplemental omega 3.  He said his wife was on a "boatload of omega 3" when she conceived.  The audience member asked him to define "a boatload."  He said at least 2000 mg/day.  Another physician, an expert in omega 3, said that the EPA content of the fish oil supplement was the key ingredient and should be at least 700 mg daily.  They also mentioned that it's important to try to increase the ratio of omega 3 to omega 6 (so decrease omega 6 while increasing omega 3).  Red meat has omega 6 and is generally pro-inflammatory.  Omega 3 (in fish oil and flax seed) is generally anti-inflammatory.

6.  Two doctors had different answers for how to control endo pain without surgery.

The first said this combination of four items works for his patients:

• 5000 IU vitamin D daily
• at least 2000 mg of fish oil daily (EPA content at least 700 mg)
• low dose naltrexone
• diet with no gluten, dairy, or sugar

The second gave a long list of possible things to try, including:

• 100 mg of vitamin B1 daily
• 400 mg of magnesium twice a day beginning one week before CD1 and ending one week after the period
• 600-800 mg of Motrin every 6 hours beginning the day before CD1 and continuing through the painful days of the period (usually 2-3 days); the Motrin should be taken with food
• 60-100 mg of pycnogenol (this may also heal the endo)
• eliminate meat from the diet (works for some)

7.  Dr. H has often said that one of his big regrets is that he didn't insist that women chart during pregnancy from the beginning of his career.  He thinks there is so much more we could know about the signs of possible pre-term labor on the chart if he had many charts to study.  What he does know is that observing 2W (wet) in pregnancy usually means a cervical or vaginal infection.  Spotting in pregnancy also means infection most of the time.

8.  Sleep deprivation causes the same symptoms (low temperature, etc.) as thyroid system dysfunction.  Getting enough sleep is important!

9.  A good endometriosis surgeon needs to

• find all the endo
• remove all the endo
• prevent adhesions

Because a surgeon who doesn't do endometriosis removal regularly can actually do more harm than good (if his techniques aren't superior), it's best to go with a surgeon who specializes in endo.  I have heard NaPro surgeons (those trained by Dr. H for a year) say that they have done surgery on patients who had a previous endo surgery with a non-specialist and that the surgery could have been a lot shorter if the first non-specialist surgeon hadn't made things worse (e.g. adhesions everywhere caused by the first surgery).

One of my favorites

I first came across this prayer in college.  I used to take it to Adoration with me.  I love the image of speaking to God as if I were sitting on His lap (if God had a lap).  It inspired part of my previous post, so I thought I would share it.

Visit to the Blessed Sacrament

My child, you need not know much in order to please Me; only love Me dearly.  Speak to Me as you would to your mother, if she had taken you in her arms.  Have you no one to recommend to Me?  Tell Me the names of your relatives, of your friends; after each name add what you wish Me to do for its bearer.  Ask a great deal; I love generous hearts that forget themselves for others.

Tell Me about the poor whom you wish to help, the sick whom you have seen suffer, the sinners whom you would convert, the persons who are alienated from you and whose affections you wish back.  For all recite a fervent prayer.  Remind Me that I have promised to grant every prayer that comes from the heart; and surely those prayers are heartfelt which we say for those we love.

Have you no favors to ask for yourself?  Recall all the needs of your soul, and tell them to Me.  Tell Me simply how proud you are, how self-indulgent, sensitive, selfish, cowardly, idle.  Ask Me to help you to improve.  Poor child, do not repine!  There are in heaven many saints who had the same faults as you; they prayed to Me, and, little by little, they were cured.  Do not hesitate to ask Me for the gifts of body and mind; for health, memory, success.  I can give everything, and I always grant requests for gifts that will make souls more holy.  What do you want today, My child?  Oh, if you knew how I long to do you good!

Have you no plans to interest you?  Tell Me all about them.  Do they concern your vocation?  What do you think of?  What would you like?  Are you planning some pleasure for one dear to you?  What do you wish to do?

And have you no thoughts of zeal for Me?  Do you not care to do a little good for the souls of those whom you love, and who perhaps forget Me?  Tell Me of those who interest you, what motive urges you, what means you wish to take to do them good.

Confide in Me your failures.  I will show you the cause.  Whom do you wish to see interested in your work?  I am the Master of all hearts, and I lead them gently where I please.  I will place about you those who are necessary to you, never fear!

Have you nothing to trouble you?  My child, tell Me all your little crosses.  Who has pained you?  Who has wounded your self-love?  Who has treated you contemptuously?  Tell Me all; and then say you forgive and forget; and I will give you My blessing.

Do you dread something painful?  Is there in your soul a vague fear which seems unreasonable, and yet torments You?  Trust fully in My Providence.  I am here; I see everything; I will not abandon you.

Are there about you friends who seem less kind than formerly, who neglect you through indifference or forgetfulness, without your having consciously done anything to wound them?  Pray for them and I will restore them to you, if their companionship be good for you.

Have you no joys to tell Me?  Why not confide in Me your pleasures?  Tell Me what happened since yesterday to console you, to make you happy, to give you joy.  Confide in Me and you shall find peace.

An unexpected visit has done you good; a fear was suddenly dispelled; you have met with unlooked-for success; you have received some mark of affection; some trial has left you stronger than you supposed.  All these things, My child, I obtained for you.  Why are you not grateful?  Why do you not say, “I thank You?”  Gratitude insures further benefits and the Benefactor loves to be reminded of His bounty.

Have you no promise to make Me?  You know I search in hearts.  Men are deceived, but not God; be frank.

Are you resolved to avoid that occasion of sin, to give up the object which leads you astray, to withdraw your friendship from that person who is irreligious and whose presence disturbs the peace of your soul?  Will you go at once and be kind to that companion who offended you?

Well, my child, go now and resume your daily work.  Be silent, modest, patient, charitable, prayerful; love the Blessed Virgin dearly and tomorrow bring Me a heart even more devoted and loving.  Tomorrow I will have new favors for you.  Only this one thing bear in mind, My dear child, that I have loved you with an eternal love.  Love Me in return.

~Author unknown

I asked for an egg

It was that gospel reading this past Sunday.  The one that if you’re infertile (or have any unanswered prayer) it makes you feel really uneasy if you listen to it at face value—like you’re doing something wrong or not praying enough or just not worthy of having your prayer answered.  I’ve asked God a thousand times to heal our infertility and allow us to conceive, yet He hasn’t said yes to that particular prayer.

So this was my brain during the second half of the gospel reading…

Luke 11:9-13	polkadot
And I tell you, ask and you will receive; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.	Okay, I’ve been asking to conceive for a long time.  Why isn’t the door opening for me?
For everyone who asks, receives; and the one who seeks, finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.	Don’t cry.  Don’t cry.  Don’t cry.  Don’t cry.
What father among you would hand his son a snake when he asks for a fish?	Shoot.  Can’t stop the tears.  Just don’t make a sound.  Deep breath.  Calm down.  No sobbing in church.  Don’t make a scene.  Your parents are sitting on the other side of DH.  Thank goodness the pew is empty to your right.
Or hand him a scorpion when he asks for an egg?	But I asked for an egg (baby).  Wow, that’s a lot of tears.  They just keep coming.  Don’t move.  Don’t draw attention to yourself.  You can grab a tissue when you sit for the homily.
If you then, who are wicked, know how to give good gifts to your children,	This homily better be good.  I hope he addresses this point.  I know this gospel isn’t about getting everything you want, but I still want to conceive.  It’s just my human desires talking here.  Why does it feel like I’ve been given a scorpion instead of an egg?
how much more will the Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him?	The “egg” is the Holy Spirit.  See??  It’s not about getting what you want.  It’s about getting the Holy Spirit.  But I still want a baby.  Lots of babies.  I hope the priest clarifies this.

Note there were two voices in my head competing for space and dominance…one in purple (human/emotional side) and one in red (rational/faithful side) above.

The priest’s homily was precisely what I needed to hear.  I’m sure he wrote it just for me.  A minute or so into it, it struck me how good it was, and I was very close to turning on my cell phone so I could record it.  I decided not to because my phone takes a while to turn on.  I probably wouldn’t have been able to record much because the homily was very short.

His main point was: God’s will is exactly what we would choose for ourselves if we had all the facts.  We don’t have all the facts.  Therefore, we have to trust that what God wills for us and gives us is what we need in order to increase our holiness to ultimately end up in heaven for all eternity.  Even when life is difficult and we face suffering or pain, we have to remember that God sees the whole picture and can see the fruits that will come from each trial.  He wants us in heaven.  The road to heaven may not be easy.  In fact it probably won’t be easy.  But He wants us to keep persevering through all the hardships we face.

It reminds me of something a favorite priest of mine used to say, “God didn’t create us so that we’d have a great, happy time here on earth.  He created us so we’d have a great, happy time with Him in heaven.”  That’s not to say He wants us to be miserable during our lifetime, but rather that this life’s purpose is directed toward eternity and should be viewed in light of it.

I know in my heart that God is not Santa Claus.  He doesn’t give me everything I ask for, even if I make a nice list and keep reminding Him of said list.  He gives me what I need.  He will gladly answer any prayer that would help me become more holy.  As much as I would like to think that I know what would fit that criteria (e.g. I think having a child would make me more holy), I don’t get the final say.  I will still continue to ask, but always with the caveat of “if it is Your will, God.”

“My Lord and my God, you created me to praise, reverence, and serve You, and by this means to save my soul.  The other things on the face of the earth You created for me, to help me in attaining the end for which I was created.  Help me, therefore, to make use of them insofar as they lead me to my end, and to rid myself of them insofar as they prove a hindrance to me.  Aid me by Your grace to make myself indifferent to all created things, as far as I am allowed free choice and under no prohibition.  May I not prefer health to sickness, riches to poverty, honor to dishonor, or a long life to a short life.  But let my one desire and choice ever be what is more conducive to the end for which I was created.”

~St. Ignatius of Loyola, whose feast day was July 31